The Babylon Bee offers their satirical take on the Democrats taking control of the Senate.
WASHINGTON D.C.—“Freedom is over!” Biden
announced to the press as the red flag of the Chinese Communist Party flew
over the Capitol, marking that the Democrats now have control of the
presidency, Senate, and House.
"The
Bill of Rights is gone," Biden continued. "Free markets will
end. Now that we have a slim majority in the House and Senate, liberty shall be
destroyed! ...As long as we can get Joe Manchin to agree."
Democratic
Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has submitted a number of designs for
new gulags she drew in crayon, which will be for people who don’t announce
their pronouns, and the designs are expected to pass the new Congress easily.
Some
Democrats are concerned that the Supreme Court could stop their plans since the
conservatives there interpret the Constitution as not allowing the government
to destroy all freedom, but there are plans to pack the court with five hundred
members of Antifa.
President
Donald Trump assures everyone, though, that he actually won the presidency and
Republicans did win the House and Senate and he’ll get that all cleared up in
the next week or so.
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