The Babylon Bee takes a satirical shot at Jeff Bezos.
SEATTLE,
WA—Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has announced he will be stepping down from the
company he founded to spend more time focusing on his lifelong dream of being a
Bond Villain.
"Running
Amazon with my army of warehouse minions has been fun," he said, "but
it has really taken me away from some of my lifelong passions-- like building
superweapons in space to dry up the world's oceans, or creating a killer virus
so I can make trillions selling the cure, or having a shark tank in my living
room!"
Bezos
will be spending the next decade constructing an undersea lair where he will
spend most of his retirement. He has warned MI6 and the CIA to "stay out
of his business."
"Don't
anyone try to stop me! You will fail-- even you, 007. HEeee hee hee hee
h--" Bezos stopped and cleared his throat. "Still working on the evil
laugh, sorry."
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