I Love the Babylon Bee's satire pieces:
We here at The Babylon Bee are marriage experts.
Being considerate and helping your wife around the house is key to a healthy
marriage-- and it doesn't even have to be hard work! We drew from decades of
combined marriage experience to compile a list of easy ways to help your
wife out.
1. Rinse a dish and leave it near the sink: Your
lady will swoon when she sees how considerate you are! For bonus
points, place the dish in the sink so she can easily put it in the
dishwasher later.
2. Place excess trash in an organized pile near
the trash can until she takes it out: Little things to make
her life easier go such a long way!
3. Avoid the toilet seat debate by peeing in the
sink: Lifehack!
4. Never shower so she'll have fewer towels to
fold: Also, if you never wear socks, you'll never get in trouble
for not throwing them in the hamper.
5. Helpfully gather all the dirty clothes and
passive-aggressively place them in front of the washer: Whatever
you do, DON'T actually put them in the washer. You'll probably do it wrong.
6. Leave her helpful instructions on sticky
notes around the house so she'll know how to do things properly: You
can add little hearts and "XOXOXO" for extra romance.
7. Say helpful phrases like "My mom didn't
do it that way" when she's cleaning: Wives love to learn new
things from their mothers-in-law. What a great way to pass down helpful
knowledge!
8. Send her pictures of the messes around the
house while she's away so she can mentally prepare for the tasks ahead of
her: This selfless act will help her stay mentally organized.
It's the least you can do.
9. Start the lawnmower for her: Use
your big man strength to start the mower so she has more energy to mow the
lawn. If you really want to drive her crazy, roll up your sleeves so she sees
your big arms while you crank the engine.
10. Pick up your feet while playing Xbox so she
can vacuum under them: Invest in your marriage and do it without
being asked!
11. Place all the sandwich ingredients together
on the counter to cut down on her lunch-making time: For extra
helpfulness, leave another sticky note to help her make it correctly.
12. Have many children so they can help around
the house: And if you're a Mormon, you can also take a second
wife to help your first wife with the chores!
There you have it! Now go and invest in your marriage!
You can read other humor pieces via the below link:
The Babylon Bee | Your Trusted Source for Christian News Satire.
No comments:
Post a Comment