The Babylon Bee mocks the Biden’s administration’s social engineering in the military.
LACKLAND
AFB, TX—Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin has directed all branches of the
military to step up diversity efforts when it comes to working dogs in canine
units. For the first time, the military-- which has always favored German
Shepherds in the past-- will admit other breeds such as Chihuahuas
and Pomeranians.
"We've
always had this narrow-minded view that the German Shepherd is the best dog for
chasing down dangerous terrorists and sniffing out improvised explosive
devices," said Austin. "But why not Chihuahuas? Why not poodles?
Bringing in more dog breeds will increase our diversity-- which is the greatest
strength any military can have."
So
far, there have been no Chihuahuas capable of taking down a 250-pound man
by the arm, so the military has elected to eliminate that test
altogether.
Military
leaders confirmed the current plan is just to invite every breed of dog and
hang out, eat doggy treats, and have a good time while taking diversity
courses.
"We're
proud of this beautiful mosaic we have created here," said one Staff
Sergeant while knitting a cute sweater for Squeaker, his working
dog. "This is what our military is all about!"
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