Gotta love the Bee for their spot-on satire.
NBURBANK,
CA—Disney confirmed today that all releases of The Empire Strikes
Back will be rereleased with Darth Vader delivering his iconic line
"No -- I am your father!" as "No -- I am your non-birthing
person!"
The
change will be more inclusive to non-binary people, who all love Star Wars,
though most of them have only seen The Last Jedi. But Disney is
hopeful this will get these new loyal fans to watch the rest of the movies and
buy more merchandise.
"Think
about all the trans people who have had to watch Empire and
suffer in silence as Vader uses the word 'father,'" said Kathleen Kennedy.
"We all know that the main thing people love about Star Wars is the love,
inclusion, and... harmony? I think harmony is in Star Wars. Also dinosaurs. I'm
not sure, I've never watched a Star War. But that is what I am told."
Not
to be outdone, Warner Bros. will release a new Inclusive Cut of the Director's
Cut of Batman vs. Superman, where Batperson is stunned to find out
that Superperson's birthing person's name is also Martha.
You
can read other humor pieces via the below link:
The Babylon Bee | Your Trusted Source for Christian News Satire.
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