The Babylon Bee offers a clever and
funny satirical piece on the Trump raid.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With many Americans up in
arms over the unprecedented raid of former President Trump's residence in
Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, Attorney General Garland released a statement to assure
everyone the raid was completely justified. Eyewitnesses noted he looked
unusually fetching in an elegant Dolce & Gabbana evening gown and a Dior
sun hat.
"We wouldn't raid Trump's Mar-a-Lago
estate or Melania's wardrobe unless it was absolutely, 100% necessary,"
said Garland. "I resent any accusation that this raid was influenced by
partisan politics or my insatiable desire to wear pretty designer
dresses." The Attorney General then did a little spin in his purple gown
as the press gasped with delight.
FBI Director Christopher Wray echoed the
statement as he strode up to the Hoover Building in a dazzling pair of
diamond-encrusted Alexander McQueen stilettos. "The men and women of the
FBI are paragons of unassailable integrity and impartiality, and any suggestion
otherwise is murderous treason," he said. Several news outlets present
also noted the delicious smell of Chanel No.5 in the air.
At publishing time, Trump took to Truth Social
to announce that all his golf clubs were also missing.
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